Adventures with Seitan

I'm not vegan. I never have been and most likely never will be (for more than maybe, a week). In fact, I'm not even vegetarian.

I love chicken, and fish, and a good al pastor taco. I was raised by a French mother who made sure traces of brie cheese and saucisson (which I didn't know was actually called 'salami' until I was about 10) ran in my blood at all times. I'm addicted to ice cream, and while I can respect a good soy ice version, you will never get me to give up hazelnut gelato. Ever.

But it's for these reasons I actually really, really enjoy vegan food. There's something so mysterious about a dish that can taste so good while being devoid of all the things that conventional cooking and baking consider 'essentials'. Butter. Milk. Cheese. Bacon. It's fascinating, really. They make cheese out of nuts! They squeeze milk out of beans! They make a substance easily mistakable for meat out of gluten they've squeezed out of wheat and then turned into flour! C'mon, that's gotta easily rival some feats of molecular gastronomy.

This uber-geekiness about food-swap chemistry has given me a serious itch to learn how it all works. I've recently added 4 vegan/veggie cookbooks to my collection, and after spending some time reading through them and picking up the basics, one of the recipes that caught my eye was for seitan.

I've eaten seitan plenty of times, but it would have never occurred to me that it was something I could make at home. Au contraire! This stuff is amazingly simple and consists of a mere two ingredients. It's not the prettiest method of madness, but it's essentially foolproof and can take your veggie home cooking a million different directions.

Last night, the curiosity took over. And so my Adventure with Seitan commenced:

(recipe courtesy of Mark Bittman)

• 1 cup vital wheat gluten flour
  
• 3/4 cup water
• 1/2 cup soy sauce
• 6 cups vegetable stock or water

Put 1 cup of vital wheat gluten in a bowl or food processor. Add 3/4 cup of water and stir or pulse until all flour and water is incorporated. The result will be a big rubbery ball of mass tinted something kind of grayish yellow and certainly not appetizing.

Knead (for what it's worth) for 5 minutes by hand. Apparently this part is very crucial even though you'll constantly be thinking This can't possibly be doing anything beneficial. It is. Or so they say. Once you're finished, place the ball in a bowl covered with a towel to rest for 20-30 minutes.

Once the ball is done resting, take it out and cut it into two separate pieces. Pull and stretch out each portion into a log-like mass as best you can. Don't worry about visuals here. They're not going to be pretty no matter how you try.

Next mix up a the veggie stock or water with the 1/2 cup soy sauce in a pot. For 'golden' seitan, mix the stock with 1/2 cup white wine or apple juice and a little salt if you're using water instead of stock.Place both pieces into the liquid and bring liquid to a boil before reducing heat to a low simmer. Cover and cook for about an hour, turning over a couple times in the process. Once the hour is up, let the seitan fully cool while still in the liquid.

Store seitan in a sealed container with some of the liquid until ready to use.


My attempt didn't come out much prettier than what you see above (yes, that's two blobs, not one).

After a day of rest I removed it from its liquid container and sliced up a few pieces for some Seitan Fajitas:

-Slice off an appropriate portion of seitan and pat down to remove some of the liquid.
-Saute one green + one red bell pepper + half an onion in a bit of olive oil until the peppers soften and the onion starts becoming translucent.

-Add the seitan, cut into pieces.
-Sprinkle on cumin and chili powder (about a tsp). Saute until onions and seitan are both slightly browned.

Place into tortilla and top with cheese (I used Almond-based 'Pepper Jack') and salsa as you like.

Photo courtesy of EcoSalon

'Stress Eating'

Today was one of those days.

It started out just fine - despite the torrential, almost blinding downpours that render LA into utter paralysis. Or the fact that some of us pour souls still have to trek to work on a national holiday.

Usually the pitter patter of raindrops on the roof will put me at ease, zone me out, and perhaps even make me productive. But sometimes a little thing called 'ahh why is today so friggin crazy!' happens and throws you off your rocker. Sometimes, by the end of the day, all you want to do is curl up in a ball, barrel through an entire bag of M&Ms (the BIG bag of course) and zone out to some Jersey Shore. Of course, then all you did was lose a few brain cells and gain 2,000 calories.

So what did I do to re-zen myself?

1) Worked Out
Unless you are absolutely beside yourself in emotion, working out can do wonders for a mini bout of depression. Whether it's distraction, meditation, or getting out aggression, just remember that pumping up that heart rate releases Serotonin (aka your body's natural HAPPY drug!), so guaranteed you'll walk away feeling a buttload better than you went in. So do it. Sweat a little. My method of choice today? 20 minute warmup on the elliptical followed by an hour sesh of kickboxing. There's nothing like punching the crap out of something for an hour to release a little tension.

2) Cooked Up A Frenzy
I'd heard of those crazy women who bake vast quantities of goods in the midst of tragedy. Sadly, although nothing is 'tragic' - I'm slowly learning that I, too, cook to de-stress. Of couse, this doesn't mean I ATE it all. I just had some veggies and other goods that needed immediate action before spoiling set in. Mama said don't think of it as throwing away food, think of it as throwing away money. That wilted bag of salad you never got to? $3.50, sista. So yeah, freeze it, cook it, SUMTHIN. And I did just that.

Today's menu was homemade pasta sauce courtesy of some leftover crushed tomatoes I used in chili yesterday.


14oz crushed tomatoes
1/2 of an onion
3 cloves garlic
small handful of capers
tsp oregano
tsp basil
dash of dried chili flakes
salt
cracked black pepper

-sautee the garlic and onions in 1tbsp of olive oil until onions are translucent
-add crushed tomatoes and stir occasionally as it warms
-add basil, oregano, salt, pepper, capers, and chili flakes to taste.

Puttanesca is by far my favorite pasta sauce, so this definitely has a bit of that mediterranean flavor. The best thing about homemade pasta sauce is you can do whatever the heck you want with it. Add wine, bacon, vodka, cheese, whatever (not all at once, duh). Kinda makes you never want to buy that bottled stuff again.

Next up was crimini mushrooms sauteed in garlic and olive oil with a bit of some leftover zucchini. I like to make my zucchini fettuccine style with a veggie peeler (see below). This little mix is perfect mixed into pasta with a little olive oil and parmesan - or as I like to do it the low carb way - just shred enough zucchini to make a full bowl of 'pasta' and then add that homemade sauce above right on top. Mmm, veggie extravaganza!

And just to mix it up a little with that leftover zucchini:

Crispy Zucchini Chips:

2 medium zucchini, cut into 1/4 inch rounds
2 egg whites (or egg beaters/replacement)
1/2 cup bread crumbs
2 tbsp grated parmesan
cracked black pepper to taste

Prehead oven to 475 degrees
-Mix the bread crumbs with the parmesan and black pepper in a bowl
-Place the egg whites in a separate bowl
-Dip the zucchini rounds into the egg whites and then place in bowl of bread crumbs, fully coating each round with mixture.
-Place onto baking sheet, lightly greased
-Bake in preheated oven for 5 minutes. Take sheet out and flip over each round. -Place back into oven and cook for another 5-10 minutes until crispy and brown on the outside. Serve with ranch or marinara sauce.


Of course, I've always said I work the best under stressful conditions. I'd call this a pretty productive and decidedly tasty night. Peace out, stress.



Oh yeah, a little vino always works, too.